S2E17: Mysterious Prelude

Oh my gosh, the craziest thing has been happening since Sarpanitu married my brother Marduk! Seriously, it’s like clockwork – every fortnight, this totally mysterious package shows up just for me, and it’s addressed simply as ‘to The Queen of Heaven.’ I mean, how rad is that? I’m flabbergasted, I tell you!

At first, it was this adorable little basket filled with the juiciest figs and pomegranates, like they’d just been plucked straight from the orchard. I was all like, “Who could be so sweet and thoughtful to send me this?” But wait, it gets even wilder! Next thing I know, there’s this bundle of linen robes that are like, off-the-charts fabulous. They’ve got these mind-blowing embroideries and fit my Anunnaki frame like a dream. Seriously, I’ve never seen clothes this fly outside of those fancy high tech workshops back at Eridu where they create our outfits.

And let me tell you, with every new delivery, I’m basically on the edge of my throne, just buzzing with excitement to see what’s inside. I mean, who on Earth – or should I say, who in all of Babylon – could be behind these epic surprises? Sometimes, I kinda sorta think it might be Marduk himself, like, trying to say thanks for helping him tie the knot with Sarpanitu. But here’s the kicker – the handwriting on those packages? Not his. It’s clearly human handwriting and when I’ve asked him about it, he’s as clueless as a kitten in a yarn store.

So yeah, the mystery is totally still alive and kickin’, but you know what? These gifts, they light up my week and remind me that we’re making some serious magic happen with this whole Anunnaki-human unity thing. I’ve never felt more stoked about our future. No matter what goes down, I’m gonna keep hustlin’ for that super tight connection between our peeps, and I’m gonna cherish every ounce of love and goodwill that comes our way.

It’s been like forever, seriously – two whole turns around the sun have zoomed by since that very first gift showed up, and I’m telling you, I’m no closer to cracking this mind-boggling mystery. If anything, I’m getting even more wrapped up in it with every single delivery. I’ve basically turned into a Babylonian detective, staking out my chamber window at the crack of dawn every two weeks, just hoping I’ll catch a sneak peek of the messenger before they pull a total vanish trick. But no luck, my friends, not even a shadow!

Whoever’s behind this whole gig, they’ve got the city streets down pat – like, they could navigate Babylon’s winding alleys with their eyes closed. I mean, it’s almost like they’re playing hide-and-seek champ. Is it just me, or is this some kind of magical disappearing act? Seriously, I’m half-convinced it’s sorcery at this point!

Oh, and let’s talk about these gifts, because they’re out-of-this-world amazing. The latest one? A hair comb that’s basically dripping with lapis lazuli and carnelian and a fine linen hood with small bright green stones, like, it’s bling central. I bolted to the window when it arrived, but all I found was this morning mist, like the courier had just evaporated into thin air… again!

How on earth do they vanish so smoothly? It’s like a game of “Now you see me, now you don’t!”

But here’s the kicker: the gifts themselves? They’re like the work of an artist. Seriously, it’s generosity and talent on a whole other level, something I’ve never seen among our human pals before. Somebody out there is sending me these amazing goodies, and they’ve gotta have a soft spot for me or something. As flattered as I am by all this, I can’t shake the feeling that it’s time to unmask this mystery sender. I’ve gotta figure out who’s pulling off this sweet charade once and for all! But for now, it’s like a tantalizing melody, that question of their identity, just dancing on the tip of my brain.

Alrighty, so I’m totally on a mission to crack this whole mystery-gift caper wide open, and guess what? I’ve got a secret weapon up my sleeve – my awesome sister-in-law, Sarpanitu! We had a little powwow over some bomb date wine and honey cakes (seriously, the best combo ever), and I spilled the beans on the whole puzzlement. And guess what she says? She’s totally down to help me out, but she’s got this one teensy-weensy favor to ask in return.

Inanna: Sarpanitu, dear sister! There is something I must ask you.

Sarpanitu: My Lady, what is it? You seem worried.

Inanna: Well, not worried exactly, but…perplexed. I need your help with a small mystery. And enough with the Lady thingy already, we are now sisters!

Sarpanitu: Err… alright… sister. A mystery? Do tell what is perplexing you so!

Inanna: Oh my gosh… For two years now I have been receiving anonymous gifts – fruit, clothes, jewels. But I never see who leaves them! I was hoping you could help me uncover my secret admirer’s identity… of human origin… that I’m sure!

Sarpanitu: How intriguing, my Lady… I mean… sister! I would be happy to help unmask this anonymous gift-giver. But first, there is something I must share with you as well, my sister.

Inanna: Holy cow… Of course, what is it? You have my full attention.

Sarpanitu: I…I am with child. Marduk’s child! We are overjoyed, but also concerned, as no human woman has ever carried an Anunnaki babe before.

Inanna: Sarpanitu, how wonderful! I’m  soooo happy!

Be at ease, as both a geneticist and a sister, I am here to help you any way I can.

Sarpanitu: Would you examine the child and advise me on what to expect with your magic knowledge and weird trinkets?

I would be forever thankful, and more than happy to aid you with your mystery in return!

Inanna: It would be my honor. Let us help each other, sister! I wouldn’t want it any other way… going to be an auntie, yeah!

Sarpanitu: You are too kind, Inanna. Your people really know you well when they call you Lady of the Largest Heart. With your wisdom, I feel hopeful for what is to come!

OMG, no one is expecting this – Sarpanitu is pregnant! Yep, it’s true, and guess whose bun is in the oven? None other than Marduk’s little nugget! Seriously, my heart did this epic happy dance when she spilled the beans. Like, it’s the first time ever that a human woman is carrying an Anunnaki baby. Can you say groundbreaking?

But here’s the thing – Sarpanitu’s got all these worries, you know? Like, will the baby be healthy? Will they make it? And since I’m this total genetic lover, she asked if I could check out the little munchkin and give her some peace of mind.

Of course, I was all in!

Later that day, I whipped out my most delicate gadgets and gave that tiny life inside her a good once-over. And, wowzers, the baby is like the definition of perfect and strong, this amazing mix of its mom and dad’s awesomeness. So, I reassured Sarpanitu that her baby is gonna be born like a total champ. I seriously can’t wait to meet my little nephew!

Sarpanitu: Dear sister, thank you again for coming to examine me. Your words have brought me such comfort.

Inanna: It is new, but you and Marduk will make wonderful parents. This child represents hope for our peoples… I was the first Anunnaki to give birth to a human and am now overjoyed that my human sister will be the first to offer the world the first anunnaki-human offspring.

Sarpanitu: You’re right. I must focus on the joy this baby will bring. But enough of my worries – tell me more of these odd gifts!

Now, in exchange for putting her mind at ease, Sarpanitu’s got my back in solving this whole secret admirer puzzle. She’s gonna be there when the next delivery happens, ninja-stealth mode activated. She’s planning to track that courier through all the sneaky side streets and finally uncover their big secret. Fingers crossed, this mystery is about to be busted wide open! Just thinking about finally seeing the face behind all this thoughtfulness makes my heart do a happy little jig.