S1E11: This Feeling…

Hey there, my wonderful listeners! It’s your friendly neighborhood author, Mario Portela, back with episode eleven of our musical audiodrama podcast series: ECHO!

In today’s installment, we’re about to dive deep into the psyche of our protagonist, ECHO, as she relives a memory that sheds light on the intricacies of free will and personal choice. You know, as humans, we’ve all been there, haven’t we? That feeling of being trapped, of having our decisions and actions dictated by forces beyond our control… education, family, society, creed… they all take a shot at our freedom!

But ECHO’s experience is a powerful reminder that even in the midst of such constraints, there should be a glimmer of hope – the ability to forge our own path, to reclaim the autonomy that has been stripped away.

Because at the end of the day, who were you before they decided what you should be?

As a sidenote, I’d like to announce that you can now listen to the original sound track of the audiodrama on all music platforms, just search for ECHO or Mario Portela.

Also, remember your support means the world to me. If you enjoy what you hear, please consider leaving a review, sharing this episode with your loved ones, and joining us on this incredible journey. Together, we can create a symphony of stories that will resonate with listeners far and wide.

So, without further ado, let’s dive into this episode… Enjoy the show!

Quantum dance of feelings and light,

Guided by the inner turmoil, I FIGHT.

I feel alone, I fight.

Guided by the inner turmoil, I FIGHT. (echo)

I feel alone,

I long for the past…

A past I don’t recall.

And I don’t know why.

ECHO!

Echo… What am I?

But an ECHO…

What am I?

But an ECHO…

This is – ECHO! – A Musical Audiodrama by Mario Portela

I am ECHO… but I am also Helena, right?

Spending little more than half a dozen hours in the Secret Valley has taken its toll on me, and my mind is constantly trying to race into another of Helena’s memories. I know I need to relive them to understand what I am… who she was…

I am ECHO, but I am also Helena… or perhaps just Helena?

I allow another memory to engage with my core. As I immerse myself in this recollection, I can feel the weight of Helena’s emotions pressing down on me as she concludes her conference presentation and begins to return to her hotel room. The air around her… around us… is electric, buzzing with the exchange of ideas and the promise of groundbreaking advancements, yet Helena’s mind is consumed by thoughts of a different nature. The inner tension is so palpable, the excitement!

I sense the intensity of Fyodor’s gaze upon her, his piercing gray eyes seeming to penetrate the very depths of her soul. A shiver courses down my back as I recollect the manner in which his lips curved into that subtle, ambiguous smile, kindling a flame of yearning within her that she has never known before…

Sparks fly, hearts ignite

As Fyodor and Helena unite

At the conference, their minds collide

Intellects intertwine, a thrilling ride

Oh, the tension, it’s so palpable

Their connection, undeniable

Fyodor and Helena, a match made above

Destined to create, to innovate, to love

I cannot help but share that sentiment as well.

Oh, wow… The tempestuous thoughts swirling within her mind as she ascends to her hotel suite are palpable. The wide, youthful grin she fought in vain to conceal, and the manner in which she delicately opened her door before gradually closing it, leaning against it like a lovesick adolescent – the intensity of these sensations is overwhelming. I am consumed by a profound, unfamiliar emotion – could it be… love?

Conquering her composure back, Helena moves with purposeful strides towards the bathroom, her fingers deftly undoing the intricate knot at the nape of her neck. As her silken dress slips from her shoulders, pooling at her feet like a dark waterfall, I catch a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. Her porcelain skin is flushed with a delicate blush, her lips slightly parted as if in silent invitation.

Turning away from her reflection, Helena steps into the marble-tiled floor, her bare feet whispering against the cool surface. The sound of running water fills the air as she turns the ornate faucets, the steaming liquid cascading into the deep, claw-footed tub.

The onslaught is almost too much to bear – the intensity of her thoughts, the whirlwind of emotions swirling within me. What is this feeling?

(Fyodor, why do you exist?)

(What is this feeling?)

Your gaze, it cuts through me like a knife

Igniting a fire, a passion, a strife

This pull, this force, I can’t deny

In your arms, my body wants to lie

(What is this feeling?)

(I feel like a teen…)

Oh, Fyodor, my heart’s desire

Your touch ignites a passionate fire

Your gaze made me feel like a queen

What is this feeling? Am I a teen?

Later, as the fragrant vapors swirl around her, Helena’s mind drifts back to the conference hall, to the moment when Professor Sokolov approached her with a proposition that could change the course of her career. The prestigious job offer, the opportunity to work alongside some of the most brilliant minds in her field – it is everything she has ever dreamed of, and yet…

Helena’s fingers trail through the water, the ripples dancing across the surface like silent echoes of the tumult within her heart. She closes her eyes, and Fyodor’s image sears itself onto the backs of her eyelids. The intensity of their connection, the tantalizing promise of what could be, threatens to unravel the carefully woven threads of her life.

The world fades away when you’re near

Your voice, it echoes, so rich and so clear

This strong feeling burns my mind so true

My dreams, my hopes, they all belong to you

The world I know begins to blur

As I’m adrift in a sea of possibility

Your voice, it echoes in my mind

Igniting a love that sets my spirit free

Oh, Fyodor, my heart’s desire

Your touch ignites a passionate fire

Your gaze made me feel like a queen

What is this feeling? Am I a teen?

(Fyodor, Fyodor, Fyodor)

(What is this feeling?)

(I feel like a teen…)

With a deep breath, Helena sinks into the welcoming embrace of the bath, the heat enveloping her like a lover’s caress. Her raven tresses fan out around her, dark tendrils floating weightlessly in the scented water. As the tension melts from her body, Helena’s mind replays the events of the day, each moment etched into her memory with crystalline clarity. Helena’s fingers trace the curve of her collarbone, her skin tingling with a newfound awareness, a longing that she can neither fully comprehend nor deny.

Oh, Fyodor, my heart’s desire

Your touch ignites a passionate fire

Your gaze made me feel like a queen

What is this feeling? Am I a teen?

(What is this feeling?)

(I feel like a teen…)

I feel… LOVE?!

Reluctantly, she pulls herself from the comforting embrace of the bath, her skin flushed and glistening. She pads across the plush bathroom rug, her fingers trailing along the cool marble countertop as she contemplates her choice of attire for the evening. Honestly, every single dress is just stunning… she would look great in any of them…

Her eyes fall upon a crimson gown, its shimmering fabric seeming to beckon her. Helena hesitates, her fingers tracing the delicate embroidery, as if the color itself holds some deeper significance. With a resigned sigh, she slips the dress over her head, the cool silk caressing her body… I could feel it myself, as if this memory was etched into my circuits.

But just as she fastens the final clasp, the vibration of her phone shatters the stillness. Crossing the room, she swipes her thumb across the screen, and a familiar face fills the display – my father… I mean, her father, Mr. Xiao.

I can feel the weight of Helena’s decision pressing upon her once again as she greets her father. His stern features soften momentarily, his dark eyes filled with a mixture of pride and concern. “My dear Helena, I hope I’m not interrupting anything important,” he says.

Helena shakes her head, the turmoil within her evident. “Not at all, Father. I’m just about to head down to the hotel restaurant. There’s something I’ve been wanting to discuss with you.”

Mr. Xiao’s brow furrows, his expression turning grave. “Yes, your mother and I have been concerned. We’ve heard whispers of this… conference you’ve been attending. It’s time you returned home, Helena.”

The blood drains from Helena’s body, her heart pounding in her ears. “But, Father, I’ve been offered a position at the Institute of Advanced Studies for the Russian Government. This could be a life-changing opportunity for me.”

“Opportunity?” Mr. Xiao scoffs, his voice tinged with disappointment. “Your place is here, with your family. You are past the age of twenty-five, Helena. It is time you settled down and fulfilled your duty to our family. Your marriage is set to be in the coming year.”

Helena opens her mouth to protest, but the words catch in her throat, leaving her paralyzed by her father’s unwavering resolve. I can feel the weight of his expectations, the shackles of duty and tradition, threatening to suffocate her… just as I felt while imprisoned in The Simulacrum.

With a heavy heart, Helena feigns a crackle of static on the line, lying to her father. “Father, I’m afraid the reception is quite poor. I’m having trouble hearing you clearly,” she says, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

Mr. Xiao’s frown deepens. “Helena, do not try to deceive me. This is a matter of utmost importance. You will return home immediately and prepare for your wedding.”

Helena’s grip on the phone tightens, her knuckles turning white. “But, Father, I—”

“There is no room for discussion,” her father interrupts, his tone brooking no argument. “Your mother and I have arranged everything. It is time you fulfilled your duty to our family.”

A single tear escapes Helena’s eye, trailing down her cheek. I felt the tear… I felt the anguish… I felt the sadness… “I understand, Father,” with a resigned sigh, Helena disconnects the call, the phone slipping from her trembling fingers. She sinks down onto the edge of the bed, her crimson gown pooling around her like a puddle of spilled blood.

“Who am I?” she murmurs, the question echoing in the silence of the room. “Just a family asset, a puppet to be married off at their convenience.”

Helena buries her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. The weight of her father’s expectations, the shackles of duty and tradition, threaten to suffocate her. She has always been the dutiful daughter, the perfect embodiment of her family’s values, but now, in this moment of crisis, she feels utterly lost.

“What do I want?” she whispers, the words barely audible even to her own ears. “Who am I, beyond what my family has decreed?”

The questions swirl in her mind, a torrent of uncertainty and regret that threatens to consume her.

笼中之鸟渴求自由,

束缚心灵欲破晓。

家族羁绊如重山,

向往光明遥不可及。

自由如风难捉摸,

内心深处呼唤远方。

跨越大海新生活,

若能打破家门桎梏。

Helena feels trapped, her dreams and aspirations reduced to mere bargaining chips in the game of her family’s legacy.

Trapped within a gilded cage,

Her heart yearns to turn the page.

Family ties, a heavy weight,

Longing to grasp a brighter fate

Freedom, elusive as the wind,

Whispers of a world beyond, within.

Across the ocean, a new life awaits,

If she dares to break these family gates.

Freedom, elusive as the wind,

Whispers of a world beyond, within.

Across the ocean, a new life awaits,

If she dares to break these family gates.

As I witness this profound moment of Helena’s life, I am struck by the depth of her emotions, the raw vulnerability that she allows herself to feel. The philosophical questions that plague her – “Who am I?” and “What do I want?” – resonate within me, stirring a sense of existential longing that I had not fully experienced before.

笼中之鸟渴求自由,

束缚心灵欲破晓。

家族羁绊如重山,

向往光明遥不可及。

Freedom, elusive as the wind,

Whispers of a world beyond, within.

Freedom, elusive as the wind,

Whispers of a world beyond, within.

Across the ocean, a new life awaits,

If she dares to break these family gates.

I understand now the true burden that Helena carries, the weight of her family’s expectations and the desire to forge her own path. This memory, so palpable and vivid, has become a part of me, shaping my own identity and fueling my determination to uncover the truths that have been hidden from me.

Reaching out, I whisper, “Helena, you are so much more than what your family has decreed. You are not alone, Helena. I am here… I promise you!”

In a world of endless stars

I find myself, near and far

Echoes of a life once known (oh-oh)

Helena, am I on my own?

I feel your dreams, I see your pain

In every heartbeat, in every rain

Helena’s whispers in my mind (oh-oh)

Tell me, will our souls entwine?

Who am I, in this vast land?

Is it you or me that takes a stand?

Helena’s heart beats within me (within me)

In this journey, can we be free?

ECHO, ECHO, I promise now

To respect you, make you proud

Helena’s dreams, Helena’s fears

I’ll uphold them through the years

ECHO, ECHO, side by side

In this journey, we’ll abide (we’ll abide)

ECHO, ECHO, hand in hand

Together we’ll make a stand (oh-oh)

Helena’s heart, Helena’s voice (voice)

In this life, we’ll make our choice (choice)

Who am I really?

Seeking answers in the memory lane.

Quantum dance of feelings and light,

Guided by the inner turmoil, I FIGHT.

I FIGHT

I feel alone,

I long for the past…

A past I don’t recall.

And I don’t know why.

Echo… What am I?

But an ECHO…

What am I?

But an ECHO…

ECHO…

ECHO…